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10 Things To Not Do During Divorce

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Do Not Do These Things

Good divorce tips can keep you from making serious mistakes. After your decision to divorce, you are more than likely riddled with an overwhelming assortment of emotions. You might feel disrespected, abandoned, slighted, cheated, and a whole other hodgepodge of emotions that can leave you feeling restless, spiteful and retaliatory. This constant mental and emotional pressure could soon take a toll on your judgment. In your haste to get back at your estranged wife or husband, you might say and do some things that can hurt you, your children, and your soon-to-be ex-spouse for the rest of your lives. Lashing out at your ex might give you instant gratification. However, the ramifications of your actions could leave you without custody of your children, behind bars, or publicly ostracized from formerly favorable personal and professional circles. Do not let your life remain in disarray due to a passing life circumstance. Take control of the situation now and learn the 10 things to never do during an uncontested divorce to save your reputation, your freedom, and your relationship with your children.

1)Do Not Verbally Threaten or Physically Attack

When the love of your life is walking away and never coming back, it can feel like the only thing that will make you feel better is threatening him or her with physical harm. Do not do it. While you might think that words are just words, the law declares otherwise. A seemingly harmless death threat against your estranged spouse can land you in jail. It can also cause a judge to deem that you are an unfit parent who should not have custody of your children. If you actually inflict physical harm, you could go to prison as well as lose your children. Remind yourself every day throughout the uncontested divorce to not verbally threaten or physically attack your spouse. If you do, you have everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain.

2)Never Contemplate Engaging in Illegal Activities

Now that you have conditioned yourself to avoid threatening words and physically harmful actions, it is time to elevate your mental state one step further. You might have assets you do not want your spouse to gain access to during your divorce. You might also think it will be easy to hide those assets. Do not do it. Assets gained during your marriage are often your spouse’s assets, also. Hiding them from your lawyer is a crime. Fess up to the assets, cut your losses, and move on. This is only a minor setback. You will obtain more money and possessions throughout your life. Don’t let it cost you even more money, or your physical freedom.

Additionally, though rarely spoken of openly, some people try to make false assertions of child molestation or abuse to receive sole custody of their children. These outrageous lies can severely damage the reputation of your spouse, and could have him or her wrongly imprisoned. If thoughts of lying about the moral behavior of your spouse come to mind, immediately dispel them. When the truth comes to light, you will ultimately only hurt yourself and your children with your malicious lies.

3)Do Not Stalk Your Spouse

You might not have been the one to let go of your marriage. You might still love your spouse, and want to reconcile as soon as possible. However, if your spouse does not feel the same way, you might feel that all he or she needs is a little convincing. You might think that visiting his or her home without permission, or dropping by the bars, restaurants or sporting venues he or she visits is a good way to get them to fall in love with you again. Furthermore, in your desperation, you might believe that contacting your spouse’s coworkers and friends to plead your reconciliation case is a good idea. None of these ideas are good ideas. In fact, they are all different facets of one very, very bad action: stalking. Stalking is an unacceptable activity that can land you in jail, jeopardize your child custody case, and tarnish your reputation in your community. Take the high road now and do not harass your spouse.

4)Do Not Freely Give Out Excessive Verbal or Written Information

You will undoubtedly need to call your spouse to tell him or her about doctor’s appointments, child visitation confirmation, parent/teacher conferences and other important things as they arise. When you have to leave a voice mail or send an email, be very brief and factual in your correspondence. Saying more than you should can entice your spouse to twist your words against you, and make you look like you are doing wrongful things when you are not. Remember, you are getting a divorce. You are no longer together. You only owe your spouse the basic information he or she needs to continue to be a good parent to your child. Anything else you say could be used to hurt you emotionally or financially.

5)Do Not Criticize Your Spouse in Front of Your Children

Your love for your spouse might now be replaced with only hate. This is a natural part of the healing process that eventually passes for most divorced people who at least rekindle a cordial friendship for the sake of their children. Do not let your temporary hateful feelings allow you to criticize your spouse in front of your children. Do not think for a second that your children will love you more if you tell them all of the horrible things your spouse has done to you. They will not. They will only resent you for trying to turn them against the parent they love and trust. You cannot buy your children’s loyalty by trashing your spouse. However, you can earn your children’s loyalty by allowing them to hear only good things about their other parent, and by being totally supportive of their loving relationship with him or her.

6)Do Not Destroy Your Spouse’s Property

Your spouse might have left some of his or her personal belongings behind when he or she left the family home. In your anger, you might want to destroy them to get back at him or her. Do not do it. Destroying your spouse’s personal property makes you look like an out-of-control person that harms other people’s property during spiteful fits. Performing these actions can only hurt the child custody and property division aspects of your uncontested divorce. Remember that destroying your spouse’s family heirlooms will only take away what is rightfully your children’s future property. Ask your spouse to pick up any left-behind items immediately to help you remove any thoughts about destroying them from your mind.

7)Only Speak to Your Spouse When it is Truly Necessary

Your spouse was arguably your best friend throughout the course of your courtship and marriage. While you might not want to remain married, you might deeply miss your friend. You might want to call him or her to talk about work or personal matters. Resist this temptation, and let your friendship with your spouse fade from your life. During your uncontested divorce, only call your spouse when it is truly necessary. Keep each conversation cordial, short and to the point. Talking to your estranged spouse during divorce proceedings can lead to arguments, and the saying of things that you cannot take back. These seemingly innocent remarks could be turned around to hurt you during the divorce negotiations.

8)Never Let Your Behavior Be Misrepresented as Severe Instability

After your separation, you might want to let loose a bit and have fun with your friends. You might feel that since you are going through a difficult time, you are entitled to a little partying. However, your incessant drinking, or asking friends for their prescription pills to help you unwind, can make you look unstable and out-of-control. If your behavior is divulged to your spouse’s lawyer, he or she might develop an unfit parent case against you. Furthermore, your disorderly behavior could get you arrested. If that happens, you will have a hard time explaining to a judge that you were just having a fun night out, and do not actually have a drinking or drug problem.

9)Remember That You Are Getting Divorced, Not Engaging in Battle

Oftentimes, divorcing couples forget that the purpose of a divorce is to legally separate with a solid child custody and property division agreement. These couples mistakenly fall into the trap of thinking that a divorce is a way to mentally and physically hurt their spouse as much as they possibly can. Do not let yourself fall into this trap. Keep your eye on the final objective, which is to leave the marriage with the honor and dignity of each person involved in tact. Ultimately, fighting serves no positive purposes, and can only harm your emotional health. A divorce is not a fight. A divorce is a permanent decision to move on with your life so that you can find the happiness in life, and future partner, that you truly deserve.

10)Remember That One Day Your Divorce Will Be Over and Your Life Will Go On

While your life might appear to be over throughout your divorce, in reality it is not. In time you will no longer feel hurt and angry. You will find a new love interest, new hobbies to enjoy, new ways to celebrate the holidays, and surprising new ways to again fall in love with life. Throughout your divorce process, even when you feel like all is lost, remember that this is only a temporary situation in your life. In a relatively short time you will probably find that your divorce ultimately left you better off than you could have imagined.

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Top 10 Things To Do During A Divorce

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Do Theese 10 Things

All divorce tips are not good. There are divorce tips which can help you win when you and your spouse have called it quits. One of you has moved out of the family home, and you have divided up most, if not all, of your personal belongings. You have decided on an uncontested divorce to rid yourself of unnecessary stress and hassle. Both of you want out of the marriage, and both of you want to move on with your life.

While you might feel free as a bird and ready to live your life on your own terms again, beware. Everything that you say and do can be used against you during your divorce negotiations. If you act in an unbecoming matter in front of the wrong people, you might just lose custody of your children. You could also lose your freedom if you can’t control your temper, and physically lash out at your estranged husband or wife. Worst of all, you could permanently damage your reputation. The loss of honor could hurt your professional and personal life for years and years to come.

You are a good person. You deserve respect. Respect yourself right now by learning the 10 things to always do during an uncontested divorce to save yourself from irreparable character blemishes.

1) Let it Out, and Let it Go

You are undoubtedly a bundle of mixed emotions. Your whole life is in pieces. The security of depending on your spouse for emotional, physical and financial support is long, long gone. You are hurt, angry, sad, depressed and lonely. You deserve to feel these feelings. They are all included in the natural healing process. It might be in your best interests to get professional guidance to help you accept this major life adjustment. It might also be time to take up a new hobby or sport to keep your mind off of things. You have a new life now. It is time to let go. Once you do, you will realize that as each day passes, the new positive things in your life will replace the negative ones. One day you will wake up without anger and hurt in your heart. You will look forward to holidays again, acquiring new things, and being independent. Once you let go, it will be much easier for you to not embarrass yourself or risk losing what is due to you in the divorce. So, rule number one is let it out, and let it go.

2) Let Decency and Dignity Become Your New Best Friends

Never, ever, ever let yourself get out of control in front of the people in your ex’s life. This is the time for you to present yourself with honor, decency and dignity in front of your ex’s family and circle of friends. If you have to go to your ex’s workplace, do so with a smile on your face for everyone there. Do not let your emotions get the best of you right now in front of people that can tell your ex about your out-of-line behavior.

3) Mind Your Mouth

You might have several legitimate gripes about your ex. He or she could have lied, manipulated, neglected and severely mentally hurt you or your children. However, unless he or she has physically hurt you, there is always the chance that you might fall in love with him or her again. Therefore, it is in your best interests to keep your ex-bashing limited to just a few close friends and family members. To make matters worse, if you say innocently that you wish your ex physical harm, it could coincidentally happen. If that arises, all fingers will point to you and you might have a really hard time clearing your name. Condition yourself now to mind your mouth and you will be grateful later for taking the high road through your divorce.

4) Your Child is a Child, Not a Weapon of Mass Destruction

Generally speaking, the easiest way for you to get under your ex’s skin is to use your children against him or her. Unfortunately, this is a game that many people play. What happens to those people years later is that they find themselves estranged from the very same children that they used as pawns in the divorce game. Spare yourself your ex’s immediate pain, and your future heartbreak, by respecting your children enough to only speak highly of your ex. Then, take it one step further and allow them to remain as close to your ex as they were when you were still living together under the same roof.

5) Take it Easy

Honestly, the end of your marriage might have felt like a prison sentence. The beginning of your divorce probably felt like a living hell. Now that reality has sunk in, you might want to let loose, party and become, well, a little promiscuous. Don’t do it. Just one morning of waking up not knowing what you did the night before can ruin your personal stability. Even if nothing horrendous happened, the guilt and shame you will feel over your reckless behavior will effect your future decision making, your self worth and your parenting skills. Make a commitment to yourself to get through your divorce without becoming reckless. You have everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain by handing over your mental and physical stability to temporary instant gratification.

6) Protect Your Prized Possessions

Round up all of your prized possessions and ask a close family member or friend to hold on to them for you until your divorce is over. This includes jewelry, pictures, personal mementos and anything whose absence from your life would shatter you. In a fit of anger, your ex could destroy them to get back at you. Prepare for the worst and don’t let this occurrence happen to you and the things that you care about.

7) Develop a Financial Plan

Almost every separation ends with a lowered monthly income for both parties involved. Instead of allowing yourself to slip into denial, take control of the situation. Honestly assess your finances, and develop a monetary plan that puts your bank account in the black each month. This might mean taking on a part-time job, cutting back on impulse purchases, or even taking your lunch to work with you instead of going out to eat every day. The sacrifices you make now will be rewarded later when you find that you can financially take care of yourself and your children without anyone’s assistance.

8) Keep Meticulous Communication Records

One of the wisest things you can do during your divorce is to keep meticulous communication records. Every time that you talk to your spouse about your children, community property or other personal effects is a time worth documenting. Record child visitation punctuality, and payments that you make or receive. Write down anything out of the ordinary that occurs in full detail to ensure that you augment your memory with a play-by-play of who, what, how, when and where. What might seem innocent but strange to you could in reality be a well-played, spousal attack. Protect yourself with documentation and you will protect yourself from mental anguish later.

9) Trust Your Attorney

When something negative happens with your ex, your attorney should be one of the first ones to know. Even if the incident causes you personal discomfort to discuss, your attorney is your number-one ally in your divorce. He or she cannot help you if you will not let yourself be helped. If you do not disclose embarrassing situations, when these instances are brought up your lawyer will be blindsided and unprepared to immediately go to bat for you. Let your attorney do his or her job. Alert him or her to what is going on. Trust your attorney and stand back while he or she reverses the situation in your favor.

10) Put Your Personal Safety First

If your ex has a violent history, or has behaviors that are cause for concern, speak to your attorney about his or her physically forceful outbreaks, comments or odd behaviors. One option is to have your attorney secure a TPO (Temporary Protective Order), which is commonly called a Restraint Order which is a formal court order that limits the type of contact that your estranged spouse can have with you. Violating a TPO can result in arrest so most people understand that compliance is a good idea.

Then, decide if you or your children should stay with a family member or friend for a while, or even hire a personal bodyguard. Even if your ex has never been violent, he or she might feel that they now have nothing to lose. In this case, an unexpected violent situation could occur. Change the locks on your home’s doors, and take note of being followed on the road. Listen closely for changes in your ex’s voice, demeanor or even email correspondence. Protect yourself and your children from harm as best you can now to minimize the chances of serious problems or a regrettable tragedy.

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Child Support in Georgia

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Things to Know About Child Support in Georgia

In a divorce the splitting up of a family is perhaps the most tragic part of the process. Child support serves the interest of the child. When a family unit is broken apart the welfare of the children should be a top concern. Child support is not a punishment but instead is a way to best assure that children have the means to live a satisfactory lifestyle. The state of Georgia has a very reasonable approach to determining child support payments.

How child support is determined

The divorce court will determine the amount of child support to be paid and this varies in every case. Child support payments are court mandated according to a set process. The amount of money going to the children every month is calculated by the courts and is in line with your financial situation. These funds are paid to allow the kids to go on through life at the same rate they would have if the parents remained together and to make sure they don’t fall off from the lifestyle they have come to realize. There are ways for families to discuss and mediate over an amount and solve this issue outside of the courts. Lawyers are there to advise and take care of the legal obligations discussed and agreed upon. Click the following link to see a Georgia Child Support Calculator.

An experienced divorce lawyer can guide you through the child support negotiating process and make certain that your children’s welfare is appropriately addressed.

The proper care of your children should be an important matter no matter if you are paying or receiving child support payments. If you are already paying or receiving child support it is possible to have the amount adjusted to account for changes in income. You can contact a divorce lawyer to discuss a child support modification to learn more about your options for paying child support in Georgia.

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Hiring an Adoption Lawyer

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Tips on Hiring an Adoption Lawyer

Which lawyer you hire is an important decision

Adopt! You’ve made one of the most important decisions of your life. You want to adopt a child. You know in your heart that you will raise and love this child as your own. You are financially, mentally and physically ready to take on this challenge. Becoming a parent is all you think about. This experience can be an exciting, exhilarating event that you will cherish forever. Unfortunately, adopting a baby can also be your worst nightmare if you do not take the time to hire the right adoption lawyer. The adoption process is a delicate endeavor that, if done correctly, will make each step toward parenthood as smooth and as painless as possible. However, in order for things to proceed effortlessly, you cannot just hire any lawyer. You need to hire an adoption law firm well-versed in every nuance of the your state’s private or public adoption proceedings to protect yourself from potential and future heartbreak and financial ruin.

The Right Adoption Lawyer Prevents Legal Problems

As a first time adoptive parent, you might not be aware of the extent of legal problems that can arise throughout the process of adopting a child. For example, before you receive the child, the birth mother and father must sign a consent to adoption. If they both do not sign this, one or both of them could try to take the child away from you at a later date. This can obviously cause you inconsolable heartbreak. Additionally, before the birth of the child, you might agree to pay all or part of the birth mother’s living and hospital expenses. The birth mother might try to take advantage of your generosity. A regular lawyer might not pay enough attention to this. However, an adoption lawyer will make sure that you do not end up paying for expenses outside of your agreement. Numerous other examples of legal problems arising from adoptions exist. Take the time now to hire the right adoption law firm so that you will save yourself money and heartbreak resulting from substandard legal representation.

Your Lawyer Can Properly Evaluate The Adoption Agency

You might be impressed with your chosen adoption agency. They might dazzle you with good references, professional brochures, and knowledgeable employees. However, while things might begin well, they can often go sour quickly if you do not have the right adoption lawyer there to help you uncover important issues. These issues include birth family mental and physical health history, and obvious indications that one or both of the birth parents will change their minds after the birth of the child. Some hospital staff member might try to change the mind of the birth parents. Well-meaning family members might also try to do the same. You need to have an adoption lawyer ready to handle these challenges as they arise to ensure that these issues are quickly addressed ,and laid to rest, before you take the child into your home and your heart.